This week I joined 24 Hour Fitness, located just down the road from our house. It's been several months since this post, and I'm glad I finally got up the nerve to do something about it. Plus my 30th birthday is rapidly approaching, adding to my motivation.
Each day this week I broke out of my normal pattern of study/reading while Theo's at preschool and have instead been working out, slowly burning calories that largely accumulated while sitting in bed holding Vincent. Considering my last intentional exercise was well over six years ago, I'm not as sore as I anticipated.
But the thing is.... I don't really feel any better inside. I'm still tired, exhausted, angry, sad. Perhaps there is no golden ticket—no one specific thing that will make my life more bearable. I guess I should know after eight months of grief work that the only way to feel (minutely) better is to keep walking, moving forward (wherever and whatever that is).
Lord, strengthen me.
Let my hands be adept to serve,
feet quick to follow,
eyes sharp to see.
My heart, steadfast, be Yours.
5 comments:
Glad you joined a gym! That's a good, positive step. And I imagine as your body gets used to working out, your heart and soul will also start to appreciate it too.
Good for you Rebecca! I hardly ever make it to the gym...because of fatigue, pain, or other obligations...but I need to be there too.
I wish that there were a golden ticket out of our 'trials'...I'd be the one buying boxes of chocolate to get it....well, maybe not, I don't have enough money....but it's a novel thought. =)
I would share that when I was praying for you the other day, I was impressed with Ps. 84:6 - those passing through the Valley of Baca - weeping. The end result of that journey is the well, filled with life giving waters. I am believing that God is going to use you to do great things...and to be an immense blessing to others. (((HUGS)))
Your right, there's no one specific thing, no golden ticket, so I pray that the accumulation of many things will help in the days to come. Lots of prayers are coming your way, and angel hugs. And I'm proud of you for going to the gym!...now all I need to do is get my rump on that bicycle that's sitting in the garage...
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